As parents, we’ve all been there – your child is lying on the floor in the middle of a supermarket aisle, crying uncontrollably because you picked the “wrong” snack. Or perhaps every school morning feels like a battle, with tears, frustration, and resistance. These “big emotions” can feel overwhelming, not just for children, but for parents too.
If your child often has meltdowns, struggles to calm down, or reacts strongly to everyday challenges, you are not alone. Many children experience difficulties managing their emotions. The good news? Emotional regulation is a skill, and just like learning to ride a bicycle or tie shoelaces, it can be taught and strengthened with the right support.
Occupational Therapy (OT) plays a key role in helping children understand, manage, and express their feelings in healthy ways. Let’s explore why children have big emotions, how OT can help, and simple strategies you can try at home.
Understanding “Big Emotions” in Children
Big emotions refer to strong and intense feelings like anger, sadness, excitement, fear, or frustration. While all children experience these, some find it harder to manage them. Why do some kids struggle more than others?
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Brain development: The part of the brain responsible for self-control is still developing in younger children.
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Sensory processing differences: A child who is highly sensitive to noise, touch, or transitions may react strongly in overwhelming environments (e.g., a noisy classroom, crowded MRT, or even clothing tags).
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Personality & environment: Some children are naturally more reactive or need more structure to feel secure.
From an occupational therapy perspective, big emotions are not “bad behaviour”, they are signals that a child’s nervous system is overwhelmed or needs support.
Signs Your Child May Need Extra Support
It can be difficult to know whether your child’s emotional reactions are typical or if they may need help. Here are some signs to watch for:
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Meltdowns or tantrums that happen very frequently, or last much longer than expected for their age.
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Struggles to calm down after being upset, sometimes staying upset for an hour or more.
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Overreaction to small changes in routine (for example, a different teacher at school or a sudden change in plans).
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Avoiding activities, school, or social settings because of emotional stress.
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Emotional “shutdown” like becoming very quiet or withdrawn when upset.
If these challenges affect your child’s daily life, learning, or relationships, occupational therapy may be beneficial.
How Occupational Therapy Helps with Emotional Regulation
Occupational Therapists look beyond just behaviour. They try to understand the “why” behind a child’s emotions and help build skills to manage them.
Here’s how OT can support children with big emotions:
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Sensory processing support: Helping children identify when they are overstimulated and teaching strategies to calm their bodies.
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Self-awareness: Teaching children to notice their own emotions and physical signs (e.g., “my heart beats faster when I’m angry”).
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Coping strategies: Developing a toolbox of calming activities children can use at home and in school.
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Parent coaching: Guiding parents on how to respond to meltdowns and support their child’s emotional development consistently.
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Environment adjustments: Suggesting changes at home or school to reduce triggers and increase predictability.
Occupational therapy doesn’t just focus on the child, it equips the whole family with strategies that work in real-life situations.
Practical OT-Inspired Strategies Parents Can Try at Home
The following are simple, OT-inspired techniques you can introduce at home to help your child manage big emotions:
1. Create Sensory Breaks
Children often need a physical outlet for their feelings. Try:
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Jumping on the spot
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Stretching or yoga poses (like “starfish stretch”)
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Squeezing a stress ball or hugging a cushion
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Pushing against a wall (“push the wall down” game)
These activities help children release energy and feel calmer.
2. Use Breathing Games
Breathing exercises help calm the nervous system, but they work best when turned into a game:
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Blow the bubbles slowly → encourages slow, deep breaths.
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Smell the flowers, blow out the candles → inhale through the nose, exhale through the mouth.
These can be done discreetly at home, school, or even in public spaces like public parks or playgrounds.
3. Set Up a Calm Down Corner
Create a safe, cozy space where your child can retreat when they feel overwhelmed. This could be a small corner with:
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Soft cushions or bean bags
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Favourite soft toy
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Noise-cancelling headphones or calming music
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Visuals (like “feelings cards” or a glitter jar)
Even in an HDB flat, a small corner can be transformed into a calming space.
4. Build Routine & Predictability
Children feel more secure when they know what’s coming next. Use:
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Visual schedules (picture charts for morning and bedtime routines)
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Countdown warnings before transitions (“5 more minutes before we pack up”)
This reduces anxiety and helps children feel in control.
5. Name and Validate Emotions
Instead of dismissing feelings (“don’t cry”), help your child label them:
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“I see you’re feeling frustrated because the block tower fell down.”
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“You’re angry because you wanted more playground time.”
Naming emotions builds emotional vocabulary and teaches children that all feelings are valid, even if certain behaviours are not.
When to Seek Professional Help
Every child has meltdowns at times but if emotional struggles start affecting school performance, friendships, or daily routines, professional support may be needed.
You may want to consult an Occupational Therapist if:
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Meltdowns are frequent, intense, or prolonged.
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Your child has trouble recovering after emotional outbursts.
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Emotional struggles affect learning, behaviour in school, or relationships with peers.
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You feel uncertain or overwhelmed about how to help.
In Singapore, many parents seek OT when they notice their child is struggling to cope in structured environments like school, enrichment classes, or social groups.
Final Thoughts for Parents
Parenting a child with big emotions can feel challenging but remember, big feelings are not a sign of bad parenting or a “naughty” child. They are part of growing up, and with the right guidance, children can learn to manage them.
Occupational therapy offers children and families practical, hands-on strategies to build self-regulation, confidence, and independence. With support, children can thrive not only at home and in school, but also in friendships and future learning.
If your child struggles with big emotions and you’re wondering how to help, we’re here to support you.
👉 Contact us today to learn more about how occupational therapy can help your child.
